Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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