What a fucking waste of an outfit
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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