All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
