finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
