There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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