we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
