2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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