South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
