Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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