you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
