She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
