Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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