You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
