im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize