margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
