I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize