I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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