just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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