Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
