This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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