I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize