When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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