Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
