Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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