I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
