I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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