You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize