just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
