Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
