don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
