Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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