Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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