He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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