dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
