is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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