Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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