Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want her autograph on my taint
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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