If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
