so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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