I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
