i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
