they need to just BURY HIM!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize