I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
FUCK WHALES
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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