handjob tips. give me some.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
