I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
