ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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