Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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