Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
