I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize