i jhust puked up my retainher.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
