The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
