Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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