i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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