ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
