Just fell off a train. Bad.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize