Your dad touched me again.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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