Nicole vs. Life
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
