No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize